Baka Survivor
by Orihara Izaya
Summary: A freelancer, and self-proclaimed reporter, joins Ikebukuro. It seems though that this rather idiotic person can only bring troubles to Togusa and Kadota's group everyday lives.
1. Chapter 1

**Ikebukuro  
>Young Bukuro's Editorial Department, 6am. Sunday<strong>

"Chieeeeeef!"

A loud voice echoed into the editorial department. The eyes of the bleary employees twitched, the dark circles under their eyes were signifying the lack of sleep. Cups of coffee had already been rallied in dozens, while empty ones could be seen all around the room. They were walking around like zombies feeding on cocoa. Every month, at the end of it, you could witness the same scene. When the deadline was approaching the fatigue and their stress were turning them into different people.

Trying desperately to move as fast as they were able to, every one of them wished the same thing:" If only I had the strength to scream 'shut the hell up' right now". The door opened and closed really fast making a loud noise. Silent curses filled the room and their tired eyes tried to focus on the tycoon that had just entered ignoring them and their pain.

"Good morning everyone!" the person who had just entered cheerfully saluted.

"_What's wrong with that newbie?"  
>"Day after day… that's enough."<br>"I can't take this anymore, I want to go home."  
>"Mummy… I miss you…"<br>"That's it, I'm dead and I'm in hell… I should have been a better person…"_

Mumbles, whines, curses and complains filled the room and created a ruckus. It was when a heavy hand slammed the desk and everyone turned towards the same direction surprised. The chief, while holding a big cup of coffee, raised his head. You could easily hear his joints clicking with every move his was making.

"You failures, stop complaining like crybabies. We wouldn't have to go through this if you were doing your work efficiently. Che… Why do I have to babysit you every single time? It wasn't like that in my days…"

Everyone froze in their position and lowered their heads. It was not a good idea to irritate their Chief, especially in days like these. When mad, he would go cursing and scolding everyone in sight and of course the words he spoke at that moment were really soft compared to other ones. Undoubtedly, he was a chief worth of respect and he was always supporting his subordinates, however at times like these everyone could describe him only with one specific word; 'scary'.

"Come on, Chief! Don't look so down! I'm here with a biiiiig scoop this time!"  
>"Che… How many times have I heard that coming from your big stupid mouth? Huh? You keep bringing useless stuff every single time. I don't even want to call you a reporter anymore," he said rubbing his neck. "So, what did you bring this time?" he finally asked facing the only energetic person in the room.<p>

The newbie grinned. What an envious energy that person had. But of course, it wasn't like she was working along with them to meet the deadline and she was nothing more than a hassle considering that fact. A khaki bucket hat, bigger than her head, was covering her eyes the most of the time, a shirt with really long sleeves and a pretty long scarf and on the top of that bleached hair; all of them, along with her weird movements, were completing the image of an eccentric person or better; a person with no fashion sense in their eyes.

"Look at that, look at that!" she said placing a photo and a few papers on Chiefs' desk.

The chief raised an eyebrow and picked up the photo, without being impressed to the slightest, and scratched his scraggly beard. A pause followed. Everyone was waiting for a reaction since he was looking at the photo with a black expression for quite a while. Even his silence was scaring them since they didn't know what they should expect. Things were usually ending with chiefs' outburst and the weirdo kicked out of the office.

"So?" he sighed. "Who is the guy? Your boyfriend? Some kind of celebrity? Are you stalking him?" he asked waving the photo in front of his face with a twisted look. "Or are you getting married? So I guess we won't be seeing you again. Oh, how sad."

A sigh of relief filled the room, a weird kind of relief. Their chief had reached the point he had no motive to react anymore. To his eyes the newbie was someone who was carrying around an imaginary tag with the word idiot engraved on it, though the "idiot" didn't seem to be very aware of that.

"Nice one, Chief," the newbie said patting the chief's back.

'This person doesn't get, it doesn't get it at all.' the thoughts of the editorial department were combined.

"This guy's name is Heiwajima Shizuo! It is said to be a strongest man in Ikebukuro! No! The world's!" she said stretching her hands apart in the air to emphasize the words spoken.

"Ah… very impressive," the chief said, not looking impressed at all and put the photo aside. "So, where is the big scoop?"

"You don't get it, Chief. This guy is superman in flesh! Maybe he is a Newtype or maybe the result of underground experiments! An alien? A cyborg moving between us…" she said doing odd moves using her whole body.

They couldn't take this anymore. Everyone wanted their piece of rest, some time to relax. Why did she have to appear, spouting even more idiotic things than the last time? There was no scoop there. How did their chief manage to deal with that person? Why she had to show up at this kind of days every month? Were the higher-ups trying to harass them?

"I see. Ok then, you can proceed with this one," the chief calmly replied to this nonsense. _"It's not that it's something new anyw-"_

"Really?" her voice was jointed with the surprised voices of the office's employees, covering the rest of his sentence.

The Chief Editor made a pause for a moment and then snickered to his self. Oh, he was so clever, so clever that he tried his best to refrain from praising his self in front of his subordinates. A genius idea had crossed his mind, an idea that he would save him from trouble for quite a while.

"OK! You can take up to three months, or more. Don't bother me until you have results in your hands," the chief said standing up and placed his hands on her arms. "I, Ikeda Daikichi, at this moment, _with the condition that you won't appear in front of me till you have the scoop you are talking about_… am entrusting you with this mission. Find everything you can about this person!"

"Chief…" she said moved to tears. "I didn't know… I didn't know… Chieeeeef, I won't fail you! I, Katou Kou, will live up to your expectations!" she declared and ran out of the office.

"Well…. this will settle things for a few months," the chief said and sat on his chair again, feeling like a burden was taken away from his shoulder. "Euh? What's wrong with everyone?" he asked seeing his employees looking extremely moved for some reason.

"CHIEF, WE LOVE YOU!" they said all together.

"Idiots! Go back to work! It's because you are slacking all the time that we fall behind schedule every single time!" he barked slamming his fist on his desk.

"_Why do __**we **__have to get scolded at the end?"_ they cried.

**Ikebukuro  
>Hinodecho Park, 7.20am, Sunday<strong>

"Camera… Camera… Camera… FOUND IT!"

Katou took her camera out of her bag in triumph, drawing the attention of the puzzled passersby. A grin appeared on her face once again and she sat on her parked scooter taking out Ikebukuro's map at the same time.

"Aaah-ah, I hope I won't get lost again. Maybe I should ask someone… Ah, excuuuuuuse me!" she said out loud and ran towards a group of five highschoolers, waving her hands.

The kids jerked back at this view and tried to continue their way and deliberately ignore her, but that was pointless. The erratic person behind them didn't stop pestering and calling them out. That person definitely looked kind of shady, a type of person you wouldn't like to walk with in public.

"Oooooi! Can't you hear me? Can I ask you something?"

"_I can't take this anymore. Just what does this person want?"  
>"You are guys, right? Why don't you just stop and help this person?"<br>"Doesn't he look too dump to be dangerous?"  
>"It's a 'she', right?"<em>_  
>"Idiot! Maybe that's what he wants you to think."<br>"Ah! Where is he? Where is he? He disappeared!"_

They mumbled to each other.

The five high schoolers looked back to the direction that weird person was moments ago in horror. There was noone there. Where had he gone? Feeling that it wasn't a good sign, all of them felt the urge to run. But that was nothing compared to the fright they took few moments later when two of them felt someone's hand on their shoulders and couldn't let but let a scream.

"Oi! Can you help me for a moment?" a high, drawl, voice asked behind them.  
>"How can we help you?" they asked frightened.<br>"Ah, you see, I have this map over here, but I don't know from where I should start. Do you happen to know this person?" the person asked holding a photo and a flashed them a smile.  
>"Euh?"<br>"His name is Hieiji-no Heiwajima… That's it Heiwajima Shizuo. Rumors say that he is a really strong person you know."

'He is definitely a shady person!' the kids thought.

"I have a mission you see," she continued scratching her cheek looking kind of embarrassed, while the kids were already standing like they had been petrified. "Our chief entrusted this mission to me… Our chief is really cool you know… "

"_What the hell is he talking about?"  
>"I still think that it's a 'she'".<br>"Who the hell is the **C**__**hief**__? Or more like, what is that __**Chief **__doing?"  
>" The Chief? Is this some kind of code name? Is this person in some kind of organization?"<br>" Are they after Heiwajima Shizuo?"  
>"What are we going to do? What are we going to do?"<em>

The kids mumbled to each other while the stranger was too busy praising the so-called chief. Should they trick this person? No. What if he gets mad and goes after them later? Should they try to run away? What if his comrades where somewhere around this area? They wouldn't manage to escape.

"Ah… I think…"  
>"…and he is like SOOO cool when he is bossing everyone around. Manly, don't you think? Despite that, he can be funny; he is such a kind person you know…"<br>"Em… you see…" one of them interrupted her.

"I know about this person," a guy behind them said. "Heiwajima Shizuo, right? The one with the bartender outfit."  
>"Really?"<p>

"You are a savior, " the kids thought looking at their unexpected rescuer.

"Yeah, he is pretty well-known in Ikebukuro. Him and Orihara Izaya that is," the guy continued and Katou took out a notepad.  
>"Orihara Izaya…" she repeated while keeping notes. "Good, good, what else do you know?" she asked excited.<br>"They create mayhem frequently. These guys are insane; you can have my word on that."  
>"Do you know the connection between them?"<br>"Well, it's pretty obvious that they hate each other, don't ask me why though. Something personal I suppose, " the guy said shrugging. "You'll definitely find out more about them if you hang out around Sunshine City.  
>"Thank you, sir!" Katou said shaking the guy's hand with both hands. "You were a great help! THANK YOU!" she shouted.<p>

The six of them gave a nervous smile and waved back at her who kept waving relentlessly.

"He was just an idiot after all…" one of them said and the rest nodded in agreement.

"Ok, Sunshine City, here I come!" she said with enthusiasm, putting on her helmet, without bothering to fasten it though.

**Ikebukuro  
>Toshima Post Office, 7.45am, Sunday<strong>

"Why do _I_ have to give them a ride every time?" Togusa complained fastening his belt.

The two otaku at the back seats were acting overexcited; they had just laid their hands on a massive order they had purchased not long ago. Of course, he was familiar with the excitement of getting a new product too, but those two, as always, they were overdoing it. Cries of joy one after another and a continuous commentary on every single thing that had managed to see the light out of the box was a deadly combo in the morning.

"And why so early in the morning?" he added.  
>"It can't be helped. There is no way to stop those two when they want to get something," Kadota droned on.<br>"They should have taken the buss then," Togusa fussed.

"Ah! Look at this one! Limited editions are the best after all!" Erica said moved.  
>"Yeah for limited editions!"<br>"YEAH!" they applauded together jumping on their spots.

"HEY! STOP SHAKING THE CAR LIKE THAT!" Togusa ranted. "Show some respect here!"  
>"Aaa," Kadota sighed. "And the day just started. That's not a good start, that's for sure," he mumbled.<p>

Togusa finally turned on the car, obviously displeased with his morning chore. On the other hand, Erica and Yumasaki looked like they could die from happiness, that morning couldn't be better for them. As for Kadota, all he could do was to sigh once more. Situations like that one were routinely, but everyone was getting along well, so it didn't even matter. He smiled to his self. Maybe things weren't as bad after all; everyone has a bad morning every so often, his friend wasn't an exception. He had to look at the bright sight of things.

"Togusa, we will treat you later, so don't be so grumpy," Yumasaki said.  
>"Togusa is like an old man sometimes," Erica emphasized the last three words.<br>"Be thankful, ok? I won't give you a ride again!" Togusa said, calmer now.  
>"Maybe we should start calling him grandpa now," Yumasaki suggested.<br>"Ah, it suits him-it suits him."  
>" Grandpa Togusa!" they said in unison.<br>"Cut it!" Togusa said, losing his temper once again.  
>"Ah, you guys… You never know when to stop," Kadota said calmly. "Ah… what the… Wait, Togusa! That scooter!"<br>"Euh?"

Togusa and the others turned their attention to the scooter from the oncoming line taken aback. The rider wasn't focused on the road and that was clear. They narrowed their eyes. Just where was the driver looking? And why was he wearing a hat under his helmet? Or more like, was he able to see at all with that hat covering his eyes?

"What the… he passed… it's red for you… damn it!" Togusa said turning the will with all his might.

**Ikebukuro  
>Across The Sunshine Theater, 8.10am, Sunday<strong>

The sounds of the horns were penetrating the ears of those around, while curious pedestrians, with a lot of time in their hands, had gathered to take a look at the scene the accident had occurred. When Katou recovered consciousness, she shook her head and looked around feeling dizzy. Blinking for a moment, she tried to recall what had happened. She had waved and moved off, going towards the Sunshine City and…

"Ah, that's right! I saw an Itasha!" she said with an excited voice. "That was SO cool!"  
>"Yet, you obviously didn't saw the red light as well," a man said next to her.<br>"Euh? AHHHHH! THERE _WAS_ A RED LIGHT! I SAW IT!" she said pointing out a finger.  
>"Well, it was too late though, I assume," he said giving her a weird look. "You should be more careful, it's a good thing that neither of us got hurt."<br>"It's a good thing that our Togusa is a good driver. He could be in a car racing anime," a girl said. "Like Wagan Midnight."  
>"Or Initial D," another guy added looking pleased with the remark of his friend.<br>"Ah… Togusa is…" Katou said pondering.  
>"The driver over there- the driver!" Erica said pointing towards him.<p>

Togusa had _clenched his hands_ into fists, staring at a specific spot on his van and shortly after his whole body started shaking. In the meantime, Katou had already stood up. She hesitated for a moment, scratching the back of her head. The poor driver seemed pretty shocked from the accident, maybe a few words would help him to recover. But when she finally decided to make a step forward, Togusa finally turned towards them.

"Who? Who is the bastard who made me scratch my van? Euuuuh?"

Well, with a second look, he didn't look shocked at all, he was more like… extremely furious and ready to kill the one responsible on the spot. Katou made a few steps pack, feeling her natural instinct telling her that the best option she had was to run for her life.

"Togusa is mad," Erica stated the obvious.  
>"Ah, that's no good, is it?" Yumasaki asked. "Togusa always go crazy when something happens to his car."<br>"Euh?" Katou exclaimed worried as their words affirmed her instinct. "Eh… Well… The driver seems fine so… I'm off!" she said lifting up the scooter and jumping quickly on it.  
>"Euh? Wa- When did he-" Kadota looked surprised.<br>"I'll become the wind!"  
>"Hey! Hold on-"<br>"Dotachiin let his guard down," Erica snickered.

"Come back, you jerk! I'm not gonna let you escape like that!" Togusa yelled and ran back to his car.  
>"Oh, that's bad, he'll leave us behind. Come!" Kadota said. "Togusa, calm down! Calm down, man!"<br>"No! Our limited editions!" Erica and Yumasaki said in unison, following after him.  
>"Read the mood for once!" Kadota finally snapped.<p>

**Ikebukuro  
>Higashi-Ikebukuro Cetral Park, 10.30am, Sunday<strong>

"Ah, it was hopeless after all. By the time we lost sight of that person, it was already too late I guess," Erica said sitting on a bench.  
>"Well, Ikebukuro is not that small after all. I shouldn't have let him off my eyes," Kadota sighed resting his back on a tree.<br>"Let's look at the bright side. He definitely stands out in crowd, so there is still a chance to find him someday," Yumasaki noted.  
>"Well, that's for sure," Kadota admitted. "Oi, Togusa… euh…"<p>

Togusa was standing in front of his "wounded friend" again. Apparently he wasn't going to calm down easily that time and they all knew it. Ultimately, that morning wasn't like every day and definitely it wasn't a very enjoyable one.

"I won't forgive that weirdo, I won't forgive him…" he mumbled, still angry, cracking the can of coffee he was holding.

"Which one of you gave him coffee?" Kadota asked.  
>"Ah… That was probably me," Yumasaki replied innocently.<br>"Ah… And I thought I would have a peaceful day off," Kadota sighed feeling exhausted already.

**Ikebukuro  
>Sunshine 60 Observatory, 10.30am, Sunday<strong>

"Hm… I wonder if I should rent an apartment… or should I find a hotel instead?" Katou said scratching her cheek. "Oh, well… I guess I should check the area first, a hotel should be fine for my first night here."

_Ikebukuro, the home of the infamous "color gangs". Different kinds of people gather there, form a headless rider and a Slasher to gangs and ordinary school kids. Every one of them is longing for something, searching for something… And that freelancer had just entered that world. _

**Sunday, 10.30, Ikebukuro**, one more weirdo was added.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey there fellow writers, readers, fans. I humbly thank you for reading this fanfic. My grammar and vocabulary, not to mention syntax, is not great but, I hope that you will be able to enjoy the story anyway. Any suggestions, comments etc are welcomed by any means, so don't hesitate to review or pm me.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Ikebukuro  
>Higashi-Ikebukuro Central Park, 21.10, Monday<strong>

Monday night and the roads were quiet compared to the rowdy weekend nights. Sitting on a bench, Togusa was waiting impatiently for the otaku duo to come; they were fifteen minutes late already. He was tapping his foot on the ground in flutter, taking sips from the coffee can he was holding from time to time. He shouldn't have let them to take his _baby_. Who knows what they would do while he wasn't there to keep an eye on them. Things didn't turn good the last time he let them loose and the van was turned into an itasha. Maybe he should have given them a ride himself.

"I wonder if beer would be a better choice right now," he grumbled looking at the half-empty can of coffee. "…Ah… And my luck is no-good these days. Maybe I should have gone along after all."

He leaned on the bench trying to relax and tilted his head back, letting a sight. The days were passing slowly, very slowly those days. Everyone was busy, even Erica and Yumasaki were disappearing for hours, who knows where, and he had started to wonder if he should start searching for a part-time job instead of loitering around alone. He was dropping by Kaztano's place from time to time, but he didn't want to impose on him either.

"Euh?" he hummed.

Togusa's eyes opened wide. There he was; the one who dared to cause damage to his van the day before and leave without a word. He was whistling a familiar rhythm while caring a bag full of snacks. It was his chance to pay back that coward. Anger boiled inside him once again and he ran towards the stranger who seemed to be unaware of the danger approaching him.

That bastard looked way too carefree; somehow he was getting on his nerves more and more by every passing second. He didn't have to think it twice before he gaits towards him to get his revenge. How unfortunate though, the stranger sensed him sooner than he was expecting.

Togusa stopped on the stop waiting to see his target's reaction. A few moments passed and he had started to believe that the stranger had forgotten his face already, since no reaction was coming. Maybe he should play it safe and act indifferently until he reaches in a close distance between them and then launch his attack.

"_It's working,"_ he said in his head talking a few steps closer, trying his hardest to act nonchalantly.

"OHHHH! It's you!" the target said loudly and pointed at him making a few steps back.  
>"Damn it," Togusa mumbled.<br>"You are the lunatic from yesterday!"  
>"Who are you calling a lunatic, you damn brat?"<br>"Nice to see you!"

Togusa blinked for a moment after seeing his target saluting calmly.

"Nice to… see you too?" he said confused.  
>"And now, goodbye!" the brat said and fled.<br>"Euh?" Togusa blinked again, lost for moment. "Wait you coward! I'm not gonna let you get away this time!" he called running after his escaping target.

**Ikebukuro  
>Unkown Alley, 21.36, Monday<strong>

"I think he lost sight of me," Katou said inside her and gulped. "Ah… I think I lost a couple of snacks in the way though. It was hard to run holding the bag. "

Katou looked inside the bag to confirm the loss of her the delicious snacks. Two of them were missing indeed. She let a sigh of disappointment while wondering for a moment whether she should go back and search for them or go straight home. But, excluding that fact that the first one would look pretty weird, it seemed too much of a hustle as well, thus she decided to follow the second option. Well, she was planning to follow it at first but…

"Euh? Where exactly am I?" she asked looking around while she was supporting her hat on her head. "Euh? EUH? Not again!"

It was useless. There is no way she would find her way out easily. Trying to ensure her safety, she had completely ignored the fact that she was new around the town and on top of it she had no sense of direction whatsoever. A nervous smile appeared on her face.

"I go right a guess. Yes, right is fine," she laughed nervously. "Ok! Let's GO! Right it is!"

**Ikebukuro  
>Not faraway, 21.45, Monday<strong>

"That brat…" Togusa breathed resting his back on a wall "…is damn fast."

The good thing was that he was able to release his stress to a certain degree with all that running. He wasn't able to take revenge for his beloved van and, considering the possibilities, he wouldn't meet that brat anytime soon again; it was pointless to perpetuate the issue. Erica and Yumasaki should be at the meeting point by that time, or that was what he hoped for, so the best thing he had to do was to get back his van and go home.

"I should better give them a call," he thought taking out his cellphone and dialed Yumasaki's number. "I hope that… Oh, excuse… It can't be…"

Togusa tightened his grip around his cellphone. A vein trembled on his forehead. What was this series of coincidences? He had stumbled on that brat once again and he was barely holding up his self before he snaps. This day wasn't the best, his mood was ruined, he had been stood up and he had "played tag" around the streets of Ikebukuro, that was more than enough.

"You again…" he scowled.  
>"AHHH!" the brat exclaimed.<br>"You… Why you again?"  
>"You know what," the brat said in a serious tone, holding his chin his thumb and index fingers and flashed him a smile. "It must be fate," he concluded and nodded to his self."<p>

Moments later Katou was lying, along with the bags of snacks, on the ground. Togusa had finally wreaked his anger on her. He knew well that it wasn't a civilized way to resolve the matter, but he couldn't care less and of course he didn't regret the punch he had given to the least. At that moment, he could even admit that he felt a great pleasure while doing so.

"Hey. Men are supposed to be gentle towards women you know," Katou said.  
>"Euh?"<p>

It took him a few moments to realize what that brat had said. He goggled at her sputtering something unintelligible. In the meanwhile Katou stood up, flicked her clothes, placed her hat back on her head and then proceeded to pick up the bags of snacks into the carryall.  
>Togusa covered his face his with palm.<p>

"A woman?" he snorted.  
><em>That was too much… He wouldn't figure out from that appearance, that outfit was misleading. <em>

"Well, time to leave!" Katou said few seconds later.  
>"No, not so fast," Togusa said placing a hand on her right arm. "A woman you say? It doesn't really matter. You were the one who damaged my car anyway. You are going to come with me."<p>

"Ah…eh… sure," she said while looking away and gulped. "_Scary_…"

**Ikebukuro  
>Higashi-Ikebukuro Central Park, 22.30, Monday<strong>

"Fate or not, that brat sure knows how to bring trouble," Kadota said.

He was sitting on the bench along with Togusa taking a breath after his job. The two men gazed at the self-proclaimed reporter, Katou Kou as she had introduced her self, who was chatting with Erica and Yumasaki and sighed. Togusa had brought her along without a second thought, but he was starting to regret it. Only the fact that she was able to chat so easily and enthusiastically with the otaku duo in equal terms was scary enough.

"So, what are you going to do now? Honestly, from her appearance and outfit I doubt that she is able to pay you in cash right now."  
>"I don't know, I think that I only brought more trouble upon myself," Togusa admitted. "But she has to pay and I doubt that she will give me a real address. Does she even have a home?"<br>"She does seem to be new around the town, that's for sure. And since she claims to be a reporter… ah…" Kadota thought of something. "Maybe you could contact her office."  
>"I already thought of that, that's why I called you. She won't let me do it. She spouts something about a chief and a mission. Maybe I should just hand her to the police."<br>"Ah…" Kadota sighed. "Let me try once then," he said and stood up. "Hey, newbie."  
>"It's Kei-Kei," Erica said patting Katou's head.<p>

Kadota stopped for a moment trying to follow his friend. Both of them looked excited, it seemed that they had found a new person to harass; to them it should be refreshing. For Erica, nicknames were more like a custom.

"From the latin alphabet's initials K and K. Kei-Kei, sounds good, don't you think, Dotachin?" Erica asked.  
>"Don't get too familiar with her," he replied instead.<br>"Don't be so grumpy, Kotachin," Katou said and pat him on his back.  
>"Don't get too familiar too. And it's Dotachin, not Kotachin!"<br>"Dotachin called his self Dotachin, he finally conceded!" Yumasaki gasped.  
>"It's not like that!"<br>"Dotaching, you are such a tsundere," Erica teased.  
>"Yeah, Kotachin-"<br>"Dota! Dota! Not Kota!" Kadota snapped.  
>"Right, Kota!" Katou gave a thump up. <p>

"Seriously Kadota, what are you doing?" Togusa mummbled and smacked his forehead against the palm of his hand. "You are getting lost in their pace."

"So, you are a reporter, right?" Kadota asked trying to change the subject to the course he wanted.  
>"Right!"<br>"And you are here-"  
>"For a scoop!" Katou interrupted him.<br>"Right, a scoop."  
>"So, you are new in town. Where do you live?"<br>"Are you hitting on me?"  
>"Euh?" Kadota blushed startled. "Of course not! I-"<br>"You are a stalker then!"  
>"I'm not a stalker!" he shouted losing his cool for a moment.<br>"Don't try to deny it, Kota!"  
>"My name is not Kota!" Kadota barked.<p>

That drew the attention of the people around. Kadota froze for a few seconds and tried to stay composed again. That person was making uneasy comments with a straight face like it was no big deal.

"Okay, let's get straight to the point. Can you pay back Togusa for the damage on the van or not?" he asked.  
>"I can…"<br>"Euh? You can?" Kadota blinked, it seemed to easy.  
>"You see, I just ran away because he seemed ready to kill me," she said. "He still does," she added taking a glimpse of him.<br>"So… it's settled?" he asked surprised.  
>"Not really," she replied laughing; was that supposed to be an evil laugh? <p>

Kadota had started to lose his patience. He had also started to realize that Togusa wasn't exaggerating when he said that she was a really troublesome person few minutes before. How should he reply to that? He took a big breath and tried to go with the flow.

"And why is that?"  
>"Ah, it's going to be troublesome to get money for that."<br>"And soooo…? How can we settle this…?"  
>"….." she seemed to be in deep thought for a moment. "Ah! I could hire him!" she said pointing up a finger.<br>"Here you have it," Kadota said turning to Togusa while trying to look away.  
>"How does that settle things?" Togusa commented furiously and stood up. "Tell me a good reason! Why should I work for a person like this? Why should I work for her generally?"<br>"I can pay well," she said grinning. "I will add the damage fee in the compensation."  
>"Why don't you just pay him now and get over with it?" Kadota asked.<br>"How should I say that…?" she said scratching her cheeck. "Ah! If I ask money for damages I caused, I'll be in trouble. There is a change they will confiscate my scooter too. I wouldn't like that."  
>"So it's ok when you cause trouble to other people, but you don't like to trouble your self," Togusa summed it up.<br>"Ah? Well, yeah, I don't like to trouble my self, that's for sure," she said titling her head.  
>"For crying out loud…" Kadota sighed.<br>"That's, that's really convenient, that way of thinking," Yumasaki laughed. "I like it."  
>"Yeah, you sure do, both of you," Kadota said feeling more and more tired. "Togusa, just accept the offer, this is getting nowhere."<br>"Nice to meet you. I'll be in your care," she said with a grin and extended her hand.  
>"Ah… I really have a bad feeling about this," Togusa said giving in and shook her hand.<p>

_And so, a new duo was formed. Despite their opposite personalities and different aims they will write new pages in the story book of the mysterious district of Ikebukuro. Great adventures await them as…_

"Shut up, Yumasaki!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Ikebukuro  
>Higashi-Ikebukuro Central Park, 10.30, Tuesday<strong>

Togusa was waiting outside of his van with his hands folded. He had made an appointment with Katou there but, since he reached the meeting point, the thought to run away had passed through his mind again and again. It was his last chance and the the bad feeling he had since that morning hadn't let him in peace. Whether he was exaggerating or not, it was a fact they had met that person only about two days before that day and it would be hard to trust her.

"Just hurry up and come already," he thought.

"Togusaaaa, I'm here," Katou finally called from afar waving at him.

It was also a fact that the girl was lacking common sense to one degree. Bypassers had already started to giggle at her view. She was coming towards him waving her hand while carrying a big luggage. Comments like "How cute" and "Are they a couple, I wonder" had already reached his ears. How could they misunderstand a ridiculous scene for something like that. Togusa couldn't help but hide his face in embarrassment; someone had to feel a little ashamed there.

"Goodmorning!" she saluted. "I'm ready to go! Aren't you excited?"  
>"Not at all. You just destroyed my last hope of getting used to the idea."<br>"Euh?" she looked at him confused trying to figure out what he meant.

Briefly, Togusa brought that situation upon his self a couple of days before. He agreed to work for a person he didn't, no... a person he couldn't respect to the least and provide her accommodation. Togusa had a spare room in his house and since she would pay for both his work and her rent, that would mean only profit for him. It sounded compute coming from Kadota's mouth but because of that he missed the simple but important details. Togusa couldn't stand the personality of that person; he could list the many flaws he had detected already easily if asked.

"You are a funny room-mate," she said patting him hard on the back.

And on top of that, she was a girl, an odd one, but a girl. No matter how he was trying to see it, the fact that the first he was living with was an eccentric, female stranger, who was nothing like a girl every common man dreams of to spend his days with was kind of pathetic. That ought to be difficult from his point of view though; she was a girl anyway and he was a man after all. But on the other hand, the only thing he could she her as was an obnoxious person who was trying to mess up with him, so that worry didn't last for long.

"Just hop on already," he said rather cold.  
>"Yes, sir!"<p>

Katou climbed on her sit placing her luggage to the back of the car. She was overflowing with energy; he could acknowledge her that more or less. Togusa took a big breath before he sits on the driver's seat. At usual, he turned on the cd-player and the voice of Ruri Hijiribe filled the van. He hoped that he would be able to relax by listening to her music on their way home. Katou hadn't uttered a word since they took off and that raised his expectations.

"Hey, Togusa," she said after a long time.  
>"Don't call me by my first name."<br>"I was wondering ever since you turned on the cd-player..." she said completely focused on what she wanted to say, ignoring his words. "Who is the one singing?"

Togusa hit the brakes all of sudden, surprising both the drivers behind him and his fellow passenger. Luckily, just on time the traffic light turned red. The young man couldn't believe his ears. Was she from another country? From another planet maybe? There was no way she hadn't heard of Ruri Hijiribe until that time.

"What?"  
>"Who is she?" she asked louder.<br>"It's Ruri Hijiribe of course," he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.  
>"Never heard of her..." she said blinking.<br>"What? Are you an alien or what?"  
>"The truth is," she said cupping her chin. "That many people ask me the same question. But I'm pretty sure I'm a human."<br>"How could you not know her while she is so famous..." Togusa mumbled.  
>"Can I change it to radio?" she asked ready to do it even without permission.<br>"Don't you dare!" he hissed.

The young woman beside him had fallen in his eyes even more. What she said and tried to do was such an excess of profanity. He had no idea what kind of face he had made at that time but she kept looking at him surprised for a few minutes, even after they were on move again, with her hand hanging over the radio button; yes, she pushed it anyway.

"I can't believe this!" Togusa mumbled. "And why enka?"  
>"Enka is the best, right?" she asked grinning.<br>"Of course it's not! We are living in 21st century! Just how old are you?"  
>"21!"<br>"That's not what... just forget it..." Togusa said switching to Ruri's cd. "This is my van, so _I _choose the music. Understood?"  
>"Pretty much," Katou said blinking.<br>"Good."  
>"Can you choose Enka later?"<br>"No!"

**Ikebukuro  
>Togusa's appartment, 11.43, Tuesday<strong>

He was glad he was back home; it was a ride that seemed like a century. The traffic and his passenger were to blame for that. He didn't even have the chance to enjoy Ruri's music; he wasn't the vice president of her fan club for nothing. Two-three hours of Ruri's music each day were essential. At least he would be able to relax, or so he thought, since his mission was finally over. The only thing left was to show Katou her room.

Before he could manage that though, she had already entered inside his apartment, letting her luggage fall on the floor. Her glance swept the living room with curiosity and soon she was inspecting everything around her; it took a couple of minutes before she nods in approval and give Togusa a thump up. When did he asked for approval?

The poor man sighed; how was he supposed to react to that? He shook his head vaguely and closed the door behind him, informing her about the nearby stores. It was no use, the girl had already turned her attention elsewhere; there was an open room, with many magazines and clothes laying around the floor. Feeling already home, she didn't even ask for permission to enter and sat on the bed picking up a random magazine.

"What a strange room... I like it. Can I take this one?"

Of course she couldn't take that one; that room had an owner already, it was _his_ room and noone was supposed to enter without his permission. His new room-mate was rather rude. Togusa tried his hardest not to yell at her, maybe he should be more forgiving for once since she was her first day there. She hadn't learnt the rules of that house after all, so maybe he could overlook it; just for once. For _once_ only.

"That's my room. Don't enter without permission."  
>"Eh? Really?" she asked surprised for... no apparent reason?<br>"Yes, why should I lie about that?"  
>"Is this adult magazine yours as well then?" she asked pointing at it.<p>

How embarrassing; Togusa felt his cheeks burning. Not even his sister had laid her hands on his dirty magazines and he could proudly say that his mother had never gotten a whiff of them either. Balling his fists, he walked up to her and grabbed the magazine from her hands, avoiding eye contact. Screw the forgiving part; he would never forgive her for that. He was a man, he had a dignity to protect on the surface.

"It's... It's not a dirty magazine!"  
>"But it is," she said blinking. "If it's not a dirty magazine, then what is it?"<br>"It's..."

Really, what was it? No, what could it be if it wasn't a dirty magazine? The young man could not come up with a convincing answer. It was impossible anyway, the dirty magazine was there in his hands in all its glory and it was obvious what it really was. But, he couldn't turn back and he didn't want to admit it. At that time Togusa wished Katou was not a woman; things would be pretty simple if she was a man. Maybe he could even share his dirty magazines with him. He flipped some pages, trying to find an excuse but he stopped afraid that he he would get distracted by the contents.

"You have more of these... I think I saw chief reading one once," she said flipping through the pages. "I wonder what's his type... HOAH!"  
>"Don't look at that!" Togusa said taking it away. "Anyway..." he coughed trying to draw her attention away. "They are just magazine for mature men; it's not something you should be reading," he concluded gathering every single magazine on sight.<br>"Heh? Magazines for mature men, really?" she asked pondering.  
>"That's right," he said trying to push her out of his room. "So stay away from them."<br>"Chief is a very mature man, so that would make sense..." she concluded cupping her chin.  
>"See?"<p>

_'Who is that chief anyway? Why was he reading an adult magazine in front of a woman? Arrg! Just get out already!'_

"I wonder if you have similar tastes."  
>"I do <em>not<em>!"  
>"Is that your girlfriend? You have a lot of her pictures."<br>"That's Ruri! She is an idol. And they are called posters!"  
>"Oh, that's kind of creepy. If you have so many pictures of hers, then her boyfriend-"<br>"Ruri belongs to everyone! And it's not creepy!" he scowled pushing her out of his room. "Your room is _this_ one! Got it?" he said showing her the one next to his. "My room is a forbidden area from now on."  
>"Woah! This sounds exciting and challenging!"<br>"It's _not_!" he said slamming the door of his room.

**Ikebukuro  
>Togusa's appartment, 13.45, Tuesday<strong>

Apparently, since Katou entered her new room with her luggage, if you exclude some random noise, the apartment returned to its usual peace. Togusa had finally calmed down and was cooling himself with a coke, already missing with usual freedom; normally he would sit around in his shirt and boxers. Why did he overlook important details like that one when he agreed?

His stomach was grumbling. No wonder; he hadn't eaten a proper breakfast that morning. It wasn't the first time though. The problem was that he hadn't prepare a meal either and he wasn't in the mood to prepare one anyway, so his most preferable option was to order something. In an attempt to be receptive and generous to his new roomate, he knocked her door to ask her if she would like to order something for her as well; he, too, could be a gentleman when he wanted to.

She answered the door within seconds and looked at him blinking. For some reason Togusa lost his words for a moment. He wasn't expecting her to answer the door so fast; his new roomate was, among other things, rather restless. Katou flashed a smile and cupped her chin; that made Togusa to arch his eyebrows, that was never a good sign.

"I see-I see, so you were wondering what kind of wonders I'm hiding in my room," she said turning her back to him in a rather melodramatic way. "Of course, a freelancer reporter like me, how has experienced many adventures, should have many interesting things and articles under her possession, you probably thought."  
>"Not-"<br>"BUT! I'm afraid that I will disappoint you," she continued holding her arms. "I'm just a normal person like you after all, so I like to keep my room normal just like the others."  
><em>'You are not normal at all.'<em>  
>"Since you are interested in it though, I shall allow you to enter!"<p>

She turned towards him again, lowering her hat a bit with her right hand in order to cover her eyes. Togusa guessed that this gesture was supposed to give her a mysterious feeling. Why would someone wear his hat while he was in his own room anyway? The whole act continued as she opened the door of her room wide and let a smuggy laugh. The young man just sighed and decided to go with the flow. No matter what he was going to say, he wouldn't listen; that much he knew.

The truth was that he was as uninterested in her belongings as he could get. Nevertheless, he entered the room nonchalantly, ready to pretend that he was taking a look. Surprising as it seemed though, something drew his attention right away. The room had indeed nothing special, personal belongings, a couple of cameras, a few books still on the floor and... a whole self with pictures of a man in random poses.

If Togusa had to guess, he would say that the man in his 30s. He had black, messy hair, stubble and he was holding a cup almost in every one of his pictures; and she had many of them. She even had a big one hanging on the wall! A nervous smile played at the corner of his lips; why did she even have so many pictures of that guy? It's not that he was extremely handsome anyway. He didn't seem to be charming neither, nor he was an idol or an actor. But, on the other hand, he was too a man and Katou didn't seem to have a great taste anyway; if she had a good taste, she would be Ruri's fan instead of being ignorant of her existence.

_'I bet he is the Chief she mentions all the time,'_ he thought making a grimace at the man's photo.  
>"Oh, that's Chief. Isn't he cool?" she asked taking on of his pictures in her hands. "He is even cooler in person!"<br>"Hey, why do you have so many pictures of him? Is he your boyfriend?" Togusa asked caressing his the nape of his neck.  
>"No, I took the most of them secretly. My skills are great!" she answer giving him a thump up.<br>"Doesn't that make you a stalker?" Togusa snapped. "And you even dared to mock my pure, supportive love for Ruri. If I am creepy then what are you?"  
>"Chief is so cool that it's only natural someone would like to take a photo of him. Actually everyone should have a picture of him in his bedroom. Here, take one."<br>"I don't want one! Why would I want a picture of a random man?" Togusa pushed the picture away. "Why would I want one? The only pictures that have a place in my bedroom are those of Ruri!"  
>"You don't even know her,. How is that more normal that me having photos of Chiif?" she asked blinking.<br>"Ruri is an idol, she conveys her pure love to us through her songs! We ought to love her!"  
>"How is that pure? Don't you have to buy these songs? It's not like she sings for free. And she doesn't even sings Enka."<br>"That's... That's how we repay her for the love she gives us!" he answered flushed. "What's with you and Enka? Unlike me, you don't have a reason to have his photos! I bet he doesn't even notices you."  
>"That's not true," she said blushing and she lightly rubbed her nose with her index. "He often says that it would be great if I could stay out of his field of vision even for one moment. He can't take his eyes off of me you see."<p>

_'Doesn't that mean that he just can't stand you?'_

"I wonder if that's what you call love," she continued, putting her hands on her hips.

_'That's what why call delusions actually,' _Togusa sighed.

He was about to explain it to her, but he stopped when he saw the happy face she was making. It was alright, he didn't have to play the bad guy and her delusions were not his problem. So he decided to ignore it in the end. Even if he had tried to explain, she wouldn't stop taking about her Chief and she'd probably deny his reasoning as well. Why did he even have to listen to her? He just wanted to ask her what would she like to order.

"I was about to order pizza. What style do you what?"  
>"Margherita!"<br>"Ok, two margherita then," he said leaving the room.  
>"Oh, do you like this style too? How come we are ordering pizza?" she asked following him.<br>"For no particular reason. I'm just hungry," he said picking up the phone and started dialing the number.  
>"Heeeh... I'm a bit hungry too."<p>

"Yes.. Hello, I'd like to order... t-two..."

Togusa turned his head slightly, Katou had rested her head on his shoulder looking at prospectus he was holding curiously. That girl was acting in a more friendly manner than she should, or maybe he was getting too conscious?

"Ah, yes. I'm sorry... Two margherita and a beer..."  
>"Get me a soda, Togusa," she nagged.<br>"Don't call me Togusa... Oh, yes sorry. Yes, a soda too..." he said embarrassed giving them his address. "Yes, thank you," he hanged up.  
>"Then, maybe To-kun, or Usa-kun," she begun counting the random nicknames with her fingers.<br>"None of them! And get off me already!"  
>"Okay," she said blinking. "Togusa then? Hey, Togusa, where are you going?"<br>"To my room. And don't bother my until the pizza comes," he said before he closes the door behind him.

"What's with her?" he mumbled resting his back on the door. "I don't get her."

**Ikebukuro  
>Togusa's appartment, 07.10, Wednesday <strong>

Almost everyone has an annoying person in their family, one he is the morning type and jumps without second thoughts on your bed to wake you up. Togusa had experienced that a lot in his childhood and he really hated it; he hated it with all his might. Having your older sister shaking you while you were asleep a bit more until you finally decide to give up and pry your eyes open was simply annoying. He was glad he was an adult. He was glad he was living alone in that apartment. He was glad he was a bachelor.

That morning though he woke up feeling his body heavy. It had been a while since his body had ached like that. Maybe he should stop sleeping in his boxers, the nights were getting chillier. He rubbed his eyes nonchalantly and opened his eyes, still half-asleep. However it took him a few seconds to realize what was happening. Katou had dared to enter his room yet again and she was sitting on his belly in a T-shirt and boxers only. His eyes opened wide and he could feel his whole body heating up all of sudden. Just what was that woman thing?

"Hey, Togusa wake up. I made breakfast."  
>"What the-" Togusa pushed her away and covered his body with his sheets. "What were you doing?"<br>"Euh? What do-" she begun. "Oh! Don't worry. I have boxers with flower pattern too. How cute," she laughed and stood up. "It's always pass 7. You should wake up," she added jumping down his bed.  
>"Don't ever come in my room without my permission again. Why are you wearing boxers anyway?"<p>

_'I almost feel assaulted,'_ he thought hugging his kneels.

Meanwhile, Katou had opened the windows. The bright light blinded him and Togusa raised his arm to block it. While she was going on and on about random things with her hands placed on her hips Togusa grabbed his T-shirt from the floor and put it on. Sighing he turned to her again, not really paying attention.

"... and so I thought I should prepare breakfast. Since we are roomies now..."

_'Where does she hide all this energy?'_ Togusa yawned.

His eyes feel on her bare legs...

_'Heeeh... Not bad actually...'_

He tensed, surprised by his own thought. No, he shouldn't go there... There was no reason to go there. He had Ruri after all.

_'What's wrong with me? We are talking about Katou here,'_ he shook his head fiercely. _'I don't care __about her legs. Women in male boxers are not hot. They are not hot. I only care about Ruri. Ruri is our pure goddess. Don't get carried away because of a pair of bare legs, Togusa." _

"Are you ok?" Katou asked blinking. "Your face is red. Did you catch a cold?"

"I'm fine!" he said standing up. "I'm perfectly fine! I'm going to the bathroom!" he added storming out.

_'Stupid woman. Entering a man's room like you please...'_

Katou blinked watching him leave. Confused she cupped her chin trying to figure out what had gotten into him.

"Maybe he doesn't miso soup... Oh! I'll go ask him! Heeeeey! To-gu-sa!"

She opened the door only to face a very-very surprised Togusa who was... doing his need.

"Could it be you do-"

She didn't manage to finish her sentence. A magazine had come flying right into her face and she fell backwards. A couple of seconds later the door shut and she only managed to get a glimpse of the very embarrassed and furious Togusa's face.

"IDIOT" he barked.

"Ah... Sorry, I guess," she said blinking. "Oh... I wonder if it's a magazine for mature men too," she asked out loud looking at the cover page.

The same time, a very embarrassed Togusa was hiding his face in his hands wondering if he was going through divine punishment...

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> Durarara belongs to Ryohgo Narita, is now licensed, the first volume is getting published a day before my birthday and I'm _so_ going to buy that present for my self. Yes, I'm going to buy a present to myself. I'm_ so_ forever alone. But who cares? Yen Press, I'm moved...

To the few people who read this story... _Arigato! Shoshite... Arigato!_


End file.
